5 years clear

as some reading this will know several years back i got diagnosed with cervical cancer (well ok it was yes you do, no you dont, yes you do, no you dont, depending on what current mood they were in, who's charts they were looking at, or how they threw the dart at the diagnosis board)

any way two years, one inept surgeon, bugger knows how many procedures (culminating in a hysterectomy) and one exploding ovary later, we finally chased it all down. during times like that you develop a rather sick sense of humor

now... i know iv been saying its officially 5 years that im cancer free ... 

(yes at some point they did make up their minds, the uterus screaming yes i am at them assisted their decision)

... but that was more along the lines of its been officially 5 years... on Tuesday its officially official.. that is dr approved, lab tested and sanctioned, totally free of cancer whoo hoo go home and party official... (dr peeked at slide and assured me its a sure bet)

now .. my idea to celebrate was a cake in the shape of a womb, possibly with a fire cracker placed in the ovary like a candle (figured it would b both symbolic and get the celebrations off with a bang)... i thought it was a cute idea...(and i figured we could cut into it with more precision and skill than the surgeon had)... my boys however think this might be a rather gross, sick "mum are you insane!!!" kind of idea, siiigh no sense of fun huh,  

now given that 5 years ago i threatened them that i was going to bring the womb back in a pickle jar as a visual aid for a sex education talk with them, you'd of thought that they would be used to my sense of humor by now huh

yes, yes i know that would of been a rather traumatic sex ed talk .. but i figured if i scared them fer life i might not have to worry about unplanned grandchildren cuz it might possibly put them off of sex fer life ...

just imagine.










"so sons .. this is where your sperm enters the womb past this rather nibbled at cervix.. (yes that thing that looks like mice have been nibbling at the edges of ).. into this area .. the womb.. (yes sorry its partially decomposing and kinda necrotic but imagine it fresh)...any way, from here it starts its magical journey to find an egg.. which is released from here this ovary ..(well ok this bloody pulp that used to be an ovary) the egg travels down this fallopian tube (just kinda ignore the missing section, fer some reason she left part of the tube in me, were not sure why) any way.. around about here (in the missing part of the tube) the egg gets fertilized by your sperm then they travel down to this part of the womb .. see sons? look carefully.. do you see all that area there ??? boys come back im not finished the talk yet ... what are you doing with that bucket?... ohh do stop screaming"



needless to say i didnt follow through on the threat ... but i think it would of been really, really cool







their reaction to that idea was pretty much the same reaction as im getting to my cake idea ....

one even went so far as to suggest we have a nice cherry filled cake instead ... i didnt have heart to mention that a "cherry" cake was possibly even more wildly inappropriate than my idea was. (certainly not for a 5 year anniversary)

so what do you think best ? .. womb shaped cake with fire cracker ovary? .... or a plain cherry cake?

Q&A

1. If you could spend the rest of your life doing only one thing, what would that be? writing best seller novels perhaps ;-) ? nah seriously finding a cure for bipolar (not for me so much as for those that dont want it) oh you meant things im actually capable of ?sleeping count?

2. What is the best thing you can bake/cook: in my youth i used to cook rather interesting brownies

3. What household chore is your least favorite? ill go with the all of them answers... other than that washing down my dragon collection is a massive pain in the ass damn things are dust magnets

(and here's some i made earlier)

(actually seeing as they are a flour/plaster mix can i use it for the baking question too i wonder)

4. If you could bring three things to a deserted island, what would they be? can the things be people? stephen fry for company and conversation johnny depp for something else entirely and a life time supply of paper.
if people dont count.. life time supply of coffee.. life time supply of smokes.. and the life time supply of paper

5. What's the next big thing you are thinking about splurging on? trip to visit my boys who are scattered about ohio.


6. Post a current photo, if you wish to be elusive, and abstract of closeup will do just fine..... i hate my photo being taken i have very few snap shots my profile pic with the hat is about the most current..

(looking for a more recent one as we speak)

(dont suppose this is recent enough?)

8. If you could have ANY pet EVER, what/who would it be? Realistically? iv had so many odd pets its difficult to pick.. if the choice were to be one iv not yet owned .. a black panther



Unrealistically? a dragon



1. Who is your favorite musician/band and why? hmm my tastes are kinda varied and who i like pretty much depends on my mood... for overall versatility i guess id have to go with marillion... because no matter my mood they generally have something appropriate

(why cant i post a player here arrrgh ?????)

2. What celebrity annoys you the most and why? unless any of them decide to stalk me cant really say any of them annoy me per say

3. What has been your biggest letdown lately?

myself

4. Worse job you have ever had and why? sculpting "blanks" for a gardening company... hired me for creativity and imagination but kept wanting me to do bloody boring inane standard shit "ivy leaves? frigging ivy leaves and you kidding me???"

6. Guilty pleasures? Spill. buying art/craft supplies

7. The last argument you had with someone - what was it about? my fellas father... pretty much told him he was a pretentious, pompass over bearing bully, and a control freak who didnt scare me in the slightest
(i was nice enough to dedicated a poem to him though)

second pass over the horses ass

the bridge ruins lay bathed in darkness. dark shadows dance across the stagnant waters below.
crumbling stone fall into the shallows
splashing stank stains onto the horses ass carved into the stone

beyond the horizon the heather grows
awaiting the sunrise and all it bestows
free from refrain in the wind thats blown
and in the distance the sound of the solitary phone

(scratching your head?.. surname bridge)

8. What would be something you would NEVER do, even if someone paid you a shit ton of money? .... pretend to be some ones friend

SMILE

Don’t Worry, Be Happy – Bob Marley Music Code


reclusive reflections
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs...

your probably adequately medicated

#############################################################

what we have here is

a failure to
communicate





#############################################################
bipolaroid moment
bipolar people are NOT paranoid... something is out to get us


#############################################################

bit of a saucy comment really

#############################################################

a joke that caught my eye


In the cemetery I saw 4 men carrying a coffin round and round. 3hrs later I saw the same men with the same coffin and thought to myself they've obviously lost the plot

#############################################################

#############################################################

#############################################################

Neanderthal

Awoke on this fine morning to the clamor of the day

i stepped in side my living room and wished id run away
As I looked around the devastation, the chaos and debris
I heard five guilty voices… their pleas “it wasn’t me”


Well heck… I guess I slept so sound last night… I guess I didn’t know
A localized hurricane… was whipping up a blow
Sweet hubby with his blatant charm, offered to set it right
It doesn’t matter... I smiled sweetly, you still get non tonight


All day I had to listen, to the repetition of his woe
I murmured placating comments… as I thought where he could go
He actually tried conversing with all the elegance of an ape
He started sounding reasonable… guess its time to medicate

I got these pretty pink pills… to help me make it through
“But seeing as how you’re the biggest cause… should I be giving them to you”

Perhaps if he were sedated… I wouldn’t be at beck and call

Perhaps I was mistaken…

to marry a Neanderthal

#############################################################################

#############################################################

##############################################################

who says the church no longer cares?

it's true they do care how sweet

#############################################################

#####################################################################

another joke from the Julie Sneddon bumper book of fun

(i hope she doesnt demand royalties for me posting them here)

Daffy Duck on a dirty weekend calls reception & asks for condoms-receptionist asks "will i put them on your bill sir?" Daffy replies, dont be thuckin stupid il thuffocate!

#############################################################

bipolaroid moment

every day is a new opportunity to fly to greater heights or alternatively crap yer self in fear depending on which phase your in

#############################################################

hmmm where do i sign up ?

#############################################################

Granny and Grandad sitting at the breakfast table. Granny says "oh my nipples are hot" Grandad says "course they are one's in your coffee others in your fucking porridge

#############################################################

reclusive reflections

fear of people (social phobia) is not in actual fact a phobia nor a sign of insanity .. its proof of sanity after all have you ever read the news papers or a history book????????

#############################################################

they serve tossed salad i hear

and to grey fred thanks so much for informing me what tossed salad was code for, i can no longer look at a bowl of the stuff in quite the same way again

#############################################################

So I said to my Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" she said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

##########################################################################

How many people with Bipolar Disorder does it take to change a light bulb?

By chatobstewart

One dammit and if you ask that stupid question again i’m stuff the dam thing down your…… Oh I’m sorry I did not mean that please I’m sorry…

(my own answer is usually None cuz who gives a fuck)

#############################################################

is there a reward????

#############################################################

##################################################################
went to the doctors with hearing problems,the doctor asked me to describe my symptoms,so i said "homers a fat yellow git and marge has got blue hair"

#############################################################

and just to add a little cuteness to the whole thing we have the following photo for all you pet lovers out there

and i thought i suffered from anxiety disorder

#############################################################

reclusive reflections

i don't have social phobia, i don't fear going out there amongst "them" in the slightest, until some evil sod makes me leave the house

#############################################################

yep we don't take it lightly, were even going to help you get there

#############################################################

The Top Ten Reasons that you might have Bi-polar disorder

10. You think Robin Williams should Perk Up.

9. You think of death as an interesting alternative

8. You think going to bed on Monday and getting up on Friday is a good rest.

7. What do you mean you're tired—I had only 3 orgasms!

6. You can not remember the number 7.

5 You know the names of at least three antidepressants and fifteen

mood stabilizers.

4 You need to employ some one to hold a gun to your head just to get some shit done

3 You bring your own research to the doctor's.

2 You think a drive from Vancouver, BC to Miami is something to do

in four days.

And the Number One reason you may be Bipolar is:

1 Last night you understood the secrets to the universe and this

morning you are contemplating whether the jam goes on top of the

peanut butter or under it.

####################################################################

########################################################################

Heterojunction Bipolar Transistors Rapidshare Free Full Downloads ... http://bit.ly/b3cuYA

A transistors with mood disorders?

guessing it tells you to piss off if the down load fails

more of my stuff here

NEWS? (r/w)

Inaccurate Reporters
(RANT WARNING)

full story here



I get really annoyed with articles like this, these are the reason that it's so difficult for people with bipolar to have to deal with the usual bigotry, fear and persecution that are so prevalent in the UK


ok this was written by some one who apparently knows nothing about the disorder nor could be bothered going to the effort of taking 5 min's to read about it
...................................................
"Robert Pattinson claims he is manic-depressive


Published: July 09, 2010 Carolin W.



Robert Pattinson is the object of desire for thousands of girls around the world. The sexy ‘Twilight’ star has oodles of fans following his every step, with many keen for an opportunity to see, touch or speak to the actor in person, let alone the ultimate dream come true: a date with Robert Pattinson.


Admiring the 24-year-old English actor from a distance might be a cleverer option,"
.....................................................
SO YOU HAVE TO BE AN IDIOT TO HOOK UP WITH ANY ONE WITH BIPOLAR? THANKS FOR SHARING THAT
......................................................
as Robert has recently revealed he believes he is manic-depressive, a condition he feels has a huge negative impact on his relationships.



While he has never been officially diagnosed, Robert is convinced his mood swings and bouts of depression mean he suffers from the illness, otherwise known as bipolar disorder.



People suffering from bipolar usually experience mood swings like going from completely irritated to sad and then returning to normal"
.....................................................
OH REALLY? WELL IM SURE GETTING IRRITATED NOW AND ITS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING BIPOLAR....SAD IS THAT ALL IT IS... WELL GEE WHY DIDNT SOME ONE TELL ME THATS ALL IT WAS, BECAUSE
THAT WILL SURE MAKE IT SO MUCH EASIER TO UNDERSTAND NEXT TIME I FEEL LIKE IM SINKING INTO THE PITS OF HELL OR SLICING UP AN ARM. WAY TO GO FOR HELPING WITH UNDERSTANDING IM SURE THIS WILL HELP LOTS OF FOLK AROUND BIPOLAR SUFFERERS UNDERSTAND IT SO MUCH MORE, BECAUSE HEY THEY JUST DONT SAY "SNAP OUT OF IT" OR EVERY ONE FEELS DOWN EVERY NOW AND AGAIN" QUITE OFTEN ENOUGH TO US
......................................................
"This does not happen on a daily basis, as there are periods of normal mood in between. Along with unusual shift in mood, a person also feels low on energy, activity levels are low and so is the ability to carry out daily chores. Bipolar is one of the hardest mental illnesses to diagnose and treat. An interesting fact about bipolar is that many of its sufferers abuse alcohol, prescription medication and illegal substances."
......................................................


IM SURE FEELING AN UNUSUAL SHIFT IN MOOD NOW .... THERE IS ALSO A LOT OF FOLK OUT THERE ABUSING ALCOHOL/SCRIPTS/AND ILLEGAL DRUGS THAT ARE NOT, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, BIPOLAR, THERE IS ALSO A LOT OF FOLK WITH BIPOLAR THAT DO NOT ABUSE ANYTHING... WAY TO GO SPREAD THE FEAR


......................................................


blah blah blah not copying the rest
....................................................


SO IN SUMMARY SHES TELLING PEOPLE THAT.... IF YOU DATE A PERSON WITH BIPOLAR YOUR AN IDIOT .... THAT THEY ONLY GET A LITTLE BIT SAD .... BUT THAT THIS IN TURN CAUSES US TO TURN INTO SOME RAGING DRUG CRAZED ALCOHOLIC AND ALL THIS MISINFORMATION BECAUSE SOME PONCE (PROBABLY LOOKING FOR PRESS) JOKED THAT HE MAYBE, MIGHT BE, POSSIBLY BIPOLAR.... OR NOT...........GEE NICE JOB LETS GIVE HER A PULITZER PRIZE


LIKE ITS NOT DIFFICULT ENOUGH DEALING WITH THE PREJUDICES AND FEAR AGAINST BIPOLAR AND THE TOTAL LACK OF COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING OF THE DISORDER

more of my stuff here

Vibrating draws

so..... it all started with a confusion over the cable internet service

his father rather charmingly getting our service cut off by neglecting to mention on the phone that he was blah blah blah the II not blah blah blah the III

resulting in the service getting cut off

the only way to resolve the issue (according to this company) was to have a cable guy come out and turn us on via the out side box

(now i see where your going with the connexion between Vibrators and turn on .. but no sorry its not a fun kinky story, just a day in the life of a boring average house wife)

any way i was informed that this guy would be coming into the house as well to, check the modem, so like any normal average house wife i tidied up paying close attention to around the modem... which was located at the top of the bed on a ledge... incidental the same place i kept the Vibrator ...welllll its a handy ledge what can i say

(yes get over it us old buggers enjoy sex too)

figuring to remove any possible humiliation i swept it off into the draw, after turning it off of course

(no i hadn't interrupted my daily routine to indulge in a spot of fun the damn thing has a hair trigger if you as much as touch the base it sets it off)

so...the house was nice and spick an span

(or at least everything was hidden under the bed in cupboards or swept under the carpet)

it was near time for the cable guy, time to make sure iv got enough cash to pay him, grab the cash set it on the stand ready... sweep all the odd sods change and loose dollars into the draw, being careful not to set of the vibrator, seriously don't want that busy buzzing whilst hes here.

so............ cable guy appears

i show him the nice pretty twinkly lights on the modem

(only four because bloody things turned off)

he decides he has to change the modem too.. for which he has to sprawl over the bed to do of course... thank god i hid the vibrator there's no way he could of missed it other wise

he was incidentally a very nice fella

nice fella or not though the further 30 min's he had to spend sprawled across my bed in front of the lap top, talking to the damned cable company to get them to understand they had to bloody turn it on at their end, his presence was beginning to agitate me, (i wanted my house back, i hate having to deal with people)

finally he says "let me get off the bed and we can get the paper work signed" (something I'm sure he doesn't get to say to most customers)

papers signed i had over the cash which of course he doesn't have change for urrrrrrrrrrrrgh by now I'm really wanting my house back, so plodding over to the draw i go to rummage for change... completely forgetting about the vibrator and setting it off in the process... with the cable guy at my side... wearing a very, very, very huge grin i might add

did you know its very, very difficult to finalise a cable contract with a vibrator's buzzing in the draw... the noise gets amplified by the loose change held there in... and its very off putting when the guys standing there grinning like a Cheshire cat that ate a canary and all the while his eyes are riveted on the buzzing draw

............................

anyway just thought id share that little disaster with you, I'm not sure why

more of my stuff here

Stephen Fry

iv been wondering lately about this odd compulsion to cyber stalk poor Mr Stephen Fry(other than the obvious fact that hes one of the few celebrities that actually has anything interesting to say)

well ok cyber stalk is possibly too strong a term to use

but certainly a desire to keep an eye out for his twitters as they get sent out, and check out his sites
(no the term "sites" is not a euphemism)

after all its not really that like me to get all that worked up about celebrities so how could i rationalize it

then it struck me .....

its bloody food ... im equating the poor bugger with food lol

no not because the name reminds me of a bloody good fry up

but because his posts are usually around midnight my time

thats around my lunch time
(yes im that screwed up )

i have a terrible habit of forgetting to eat

especially when i get to painting or working online

and Stephens' tweets around the appropriate time of the night

are more regular than a Buddhist monk on an All Bran diet

very, very convenient

(well..... its the only picture iv ever did of a buddha and i couldnt resist adding it here)

so, although he'll never get to read this ... my thanks to Mr Stephen Fry
for your tweeting and reminding me its time to get off my ass and eat

of course this means i can also blame him when i start to gain too many extra pounds

hmm if he ever stops tweeting will i just fade away

____________________________

more of my posts here _________________________